Are you a confident presenter?
Confidence is often cited as one of the most critical factors affecting professionals when it comes to presenting and speaking in public. In fact, it’s one of the biggest hurdles we help people to jump every day at Mindful Presenter.
Regardless of status, experience or dare I even say confidence itself the more common priority people tell us they have before one of our coaching conferences or workshops is,’ To feel more confident on my feet presenting to a group’.
I’m not a psychologist but what we insure every week suggests to me that confidence is a state of mind. The exciting thing about that mind-set is that it’s something we can change.
I don’t want to denounce either the legality or intricacy of low self-confidence because I have not only experienced its debilitating grip myself in the past, I see its crippling impact on professionals every day when presenting their ideas. It seems to me that the contributors to low self-confidence are many and varied and not least limited to childhood, upbringing, our world experience and environment.
Most of us know what confidence seems and feels like
Remember the first time your parent let go of the back of your bicycle when you were a small child and you ran soaring into the wind; in that moment you felt invincible. Strangely only moments before, the very thought of ever riding the bike all by yourself seemed impossible and you were probably at the point of subconsciously feeling useless.
How about your first kiss?
I had one or two friends who claimed it was no’ big deal’ for them at the time but those of us who knew better felt very uncomfortable by the fact that not only did we really not know what to do but that even if we did it was probably something we would struggle with. Sadly, Google wasn’t around to guide me back then.
Then we did it and it felt so great we never wanted to stop.
Learning to present is rather like learning to kiss for the first time; I don’t believe it’s something that most of us are taught.
Like many things, we observe first and then try to copy what we’ve seen.
I’m not sure about kissing but I do know that there are an nasty plenty of presenters out there you really shouldn’t consider copying.
We may have had similar limiting faith over the years about not being able to pass our driving exam, get the job, promotion or even be a good parent or husband but many of us did it in spite of our beliefs.
We assure a most interesting phenomenon at play in our workshops every week.
When you ask someone who tells you that they have very little confidence to tell you what high confidence appears and feels like most people can do so very easily.
When you then spend a little time encouraging and supporting them to physically demonstrate that behaviour most people can do so very effectively. In the process of adopting the posture, motion, breathing and even facial expressions that they perceive as high confidence suddenly they feel confident themselves.
On a confidence scale of 1 to 10 with 1 representing the lowest level of confidence to the point of feeling truly anxious, time and time again we watch people claiming to be a 3 rise to a 7 or 8 within moments.
Some people evaluating the exercise from the outside in may suggest that it’s not real, is nothing more than behave and that it’s not sustainable.
Our experience at Mindful Presenter, for the most part, is that they are wrong on all counts.
It’s very real
Regardless of our thoughts or accumulated notions I believe we all inherently know how to appear and feel confident and the facts of the case that most of us have felt it at some point in our lives we know how to relive it.
I believe the most distant and briefest moment of confidence we may have experienced is firmly stored in every nerve, cell and fiber of our being and we can call on it again in a heartbeat. All we have to do is have the presence of mind and gallantry to attain the effort to do so mindfully.
It’s easy for me to believe since we are assure remarkable transformations every day in our coaching sessions and workshops.
Some people call it acting and that’s understandable but I prefer to call it focus. As human beings we each have an unfathomable depth of intellectual and emotional gifts that we simply don’t utilize as often or as effectively as we are able to.
Focus is one of those gifts
We have each been awarded the ability to focus on what we want at the exclusion of all other distractions but we don’t always take advantage of it. Focus is like a mental muscle which needs to be used, flexed and exercised and the most powerful it gets so do we.
It’s my belief which we go as far as to demonstrate every day at Mindful Presenter that confidence is a muscle. We each have one but just like our physical muscles if we don’t exercise it then it slowly atrophies to the phase which is something we become very weak.
Is it sustainable?
Imagine “youre ever” suffocated in grime and clay and you wanted to get clean .; having a shower would go a long way to helping you attain your goal of getting clean wouldn’t it?
You’ve had the shower, you are all shiny and clean and because you’ve attained your goal you decide never to have another shower ever again. Do you think you may amass the clay and grime again?
You may consider it a strange analogy but to me for confidence to be sustainable it’s a muscle you have to workout every day in the same style that you will have a shower if you wish to remain clean every day.
That reminds me of one of my favourite quotes 😛 TAGEND
“People often say motivation doesn’t last. Neither does bathing–that’s why we recommend it daily.” Zig Ziglar
You’ll see it when you believe it
We witness another interesting contradiction every week at Mindful Presenter when we consider confidence.
Often we will have a delegate stand to present and when we ask them afterwards how they felt on that confidence scale of 1 to 10 with 1 representing the lowest here is what we find.
Many people tell us that they felt very low in confidence, i.e. a 2 or a 3, yet when we ask the other delegates what they consider and felt from the presenter in terms of confidence there is a complete mismatch. The presenter may feel like a 2 or 3, yet it’s not uncommon for the audience expressed the belief that the person is far more confident than they feel, they may well say they saw a 6 or even 7.
Whilst we may feel low in confidence when we receive feedback like that we need to acknowledge that we often appear much more confident than we feel. As we do so our audience will not only continue to see us as more confident than we feel we gradually become to feel more confident ourselves in the process.
“A person is limited merely by the thinks that he chooses.” James Allen
If you would like to feel and look more confident on your feet whilst presenting and speaking in public the following 6 tips are worth practicing.
Hold in your mind an image of what a confident presenter looks like in terms of the style they stand, move, breathe, gesture and even own their space. Once you have that image in intellect instruct your body to emulate it.
Before you stand to speak find a quiet safe place and practice this 😛 TAGEND
– Stand tall and straight with your head held high, feet shoulder or hip width apart
– Jump up as high as you can 4 hours- when you land for the final time feel how strong and connected you are to the ground beneath you
– Take a few deep breaths
– Smile as broad and as big as you can
– Do a little shadow boxing on the spot
The moment you then stand to actually speak before you utter a word take a moment to breathe, bend your knees very slightly, connect to the ground beneath you and smile again. Don’t be in a rush to speak; take a moment to breathe.
Focus, like imagination, is a faculty of the intellect and can be used very effectively to present with more confidence by what you choose to let your mind dwell on.
Before you stand to speak find a quiet safe place and practise this 😛 TAGEND
– Cast your mind back over everything you have achieved so far; don’t play it down, focus on it
– Remind yourself why you are speaking, how much you know and why your message is so important
– Don’t try to see your audience naked in your intellect; ensure them smiling instead
– Sit softly for a few minutes and meditate. If you don’t know how to meditate then check out: https :// www.headspace.com/ or https :// www.calm.com/
Try picturing the presentation, yourself and your audience exactly as you would like them to be and then feel the difference.
Language begins long before the presenter opens their mouth to utter a word. It’s the dialogue we are having with ourselves in our mind. Stop all of the habitual mental noise that doesn’t help you by consciously attaining the effort to speak positively to yourself.
Before you stand to speak find a quiet safe place and practice this 😛 TAGEND
– Check in with what you are telling yourself in your mind if it’s unhelpful then change it 😛 TAGEND
Change-‘ I’m going to mess this up’, to’ I have something important to share’
Change-‘ I feel so nervous, I’m going to fail’ to’ It’s completely normal to be nervous, it merely entails I care’
Change-‘ What if my intellect goes blank’ to’ I can handle it, I know what I’m talking about and could turn to my notes anyway’
The starting point for many professionals looking to improve their presentation abilities is to immediately try to fix everything they perceive to be wrong.
That’s understandable of course and we should address our personal challenges but it isn’t always the best place to start.
I have never come across a presenter who doesn’t have at least one core strength although he has or she may not know it. I believe our first task is to identify and recognise what those strengths are before we pull ourselves apart. Once we have found them we need to harness, develop and exploit them.
I can build you a promise that even though you may not see it for yourself it’s surely there and the moment you find someone to help you to recognise it your confidence will soar.
5. Remember well
I don’t really believe that when we are born and we offer our first cry to the world as the doctor or midwife slaps our bottom that the louder the cry the more likely they are to say,’ You certainly have a confident one there Mrs…’
My view is that it’s a learned ability and as we learn so much as we travel through life we can call on those achievements to unearth and recollect what confidence feels like. Everyone is good at something and not so good at others and calling on those things you already know you are good at can go a long way to restoring and building your confidence.
6. Let go
As much as we would like to, we simply can’t control every outcome. The conscious endeavour and energy many presenters expend in trying to do so can have an adverse impact on their confidence.
Our job is to mindfully prepare, craft and practise our presentation as best we can and then trust that our preparation will serve us well.
Image: Politenes of flickr.com
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